Tibet in 1945
Remarkable 1945 home movie footage by Major James Guthrie includes a glimpse of the Dalai Lama. From BFI archives.
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Light in the Darkness
…its just happening. It has nothing to do with my muscles or my cleverness, it has to do with so-called grace of God. Like the ripening of the apple on the tree. Nothing to do with human cleverness.
Andrew Jordan in conversation with Carol Sill
C: Hi Andrew, glad we can have another conversation here in Vancouver. It’s a rainy day today. And we’re talking about having a lot on your mind. You know, as we get into the fall and September happens and everybody’s getting anxious and getting started again, let’s talk about what happens when you’ve got too much going on or too much on your mind. What are some of the ways that you think about handling that?
A: Well, I’m aware that people around me .. in a sense of a mirror.. are complaining – it’s my complaints too, but I put it in their mouths. Friends and acquaintances complain that there’s too much on their minds, the to do lists are too long, and I hear comments like “I’m overwhelmed,” “I’m panicking” “Too much too much” “Time is too short” “Things are speeding up.” The reason I’m mentioning it is because I identify with it. So really it’s one way of talking about myself.
So indeed that’s the case. That predicament. Too much on the mind. Too much on the to do list. Now what do we do?
C: Right.
A: It’s crazy-making.
C: You know a couple of talks back we were talking about authenticity and being authentic in the moment. How is it possible to find that moment while everything is whirling around you? What do you do about that? I can hear, even now, sounds in the background at your place, where we’re talking, I know, we’re all enmeshed in our lives. What are some of the strategies that you use, if there are any? How do you sort yourself out?
A: I actually built myself a meditation room in a crawlspace in my house. Putting cushions, carpet, candles, even a sound system. So I can go there, and I do, I haven’t been there today, or yesterday I somehow missed it, but later today I will go there because I need it for my sanity. So I close the door in this crawlspace, I made it comfortable and cozy. Maybe I’ll light a candle, maybe I’ll sit in darkness, and I’ll do a meditation for about 20 minutes. And remind myself that all the noise, the craziness, the to do list (the to do list has validity for sure), and yet I need to tune into, find the place that has a higher validity than the high to do list. Because if the to do list is left till tomorrow most of the items will wait, even though it seems like they won’t, but they do. So should I be sick or have some legitimate reason for not attending to the to do list, seems like no big deal. Certainly there are deadlines and so on that have to be attended to.
But I do find this meditation room, which can be a corner or a cushion to sit on, and that’s an oasis, an escape from the madness that seems to be happening around me.
C: And then by going in there you then re-center, and you’re able to come out and actually engage more fully in your life in the world. It’s not just that you escape, and then wait for the next time you can escape. Right?
A: Right. I guess somebody might drink and get drunk to escape and then come back and find their problems have not decreased – quite the opposite. No, this is different. It is different from getting drunk or avoiding through a method like that. I think it’s almost like retreating to set the priorities straight. Because once I find myself in a state that seems like madness, that’s not good. Madness is not good for me.
C: How do you define madness? Madness is being at the farthest away from the center that you can be? Or – how do you sense that?
A: I’m okay with being busy. I don’t mind having a long list. I mind that feeling of panic that I can’t handle it. I don’t like that. That’s crazy. So that’s the signal to stop, look and choose. One method is to go and meditate, to get my priorities straight. And then I can come back, typically, and prioritize my list and do what I need to do. And that’s sane. And what I can’t do, I cannot do. But the difference between a panicky state and a calm, efficient state ..[phone rings] It may ring again, and there’s a busy household behind that wall..
C: So you were talking about the difference between an efficient state, and a state when it gets out of control. We all know that it gets out of control. And if you’re a spiritual person you might think, “Oh no, I might not be on the path if all this stuff is happening to me and I’m finding more difficulty coping.” But don’t you feel that your additional sensitivity takes you to another level so you’re always required to learn more about incorporating peace of mind into your daily life.
A: Initially, the increased sensitivity seems to cause more trouble than not. More sensitivity, initially in myself and I noticed with others who I meet, gives almost the sense that I was better off before I was sensitive. Not that it’s a choice. Initially increased sensitivity causes trouble. Typically.
C: And then?
A: And then we pray. And then we pray because then it’s a question of taking responsibility for my state of mind. No more complaining, no more blaming. Taking responsibility which is easy for me to tell you, it’s hard for me to do it myself. And yet there is no choice, than the one choice, which is to choose to say yes to the responsibility. I am responsible for my state of equanimity as opposed to panic. Because initially with increased sensitivity panic increases. The propensity for panic increases.
C: I think that’s true. I know that, and that’s why people rely heavily on traditional methods: the meditations, the teachings, the following of maybe the scriptures, or something, anything to hold on to so that you can retain both that open sensitivity and the ability to still function in the world. Because it can get somewhat jarring sometimes and you have the sense that you should completely retreat. And yet it’s not necessarily the way to give the gifts to the world. It’s something to be reconciled. Yearning for the cave, when in actuality maybe you have to give something in the physical. And when you have a family, that’s obvious – there is duty there, there’s dharma, right?
A: Yes. I wonder… I think this topic relates to this concept of death and rebirth. To die to the old paradigm, which is very hard to do, and to be reborn in the new paradigm which is a blessing, but that’s heavy duty process. I think that we hear metaphors like the caterpillar, cocoon and then emerging as the butterfly, so there is this amazing transformation happening which is dying as a caterpillar and being reborn as a butterfly. …..this metaphor keeps repeating, coming up. […]
C: And when that happens, there is the pupa stage. When the caterpillar goes into the pupa, and doesn’t relate to anything and the transformation is occurring, without any contact, it’s like suspended animation, and while that’s happening transformation happens inside. And then, coming out as a butterfly. That’s actually very beautiful metaphor. But how..we..
A: You can say that ..
C: We think, but we don’t know how it actually feels. We can look at it from a distance, but I think it’s probably painful all the way through.
A: And it appears like there’s no end to it. It looks like pain forever. Until it changes. And indeed the pupa … death. And its just happening. It has nothing to do with my muscles or my cleverness, it has to do with so-called grace of God. Like the ripening of the apple on the tree. Nothing to do with human cleverness. That transformation has a mind of its own. Maybe that would take us to the topic of faith. [phone rings] “Emuna “ is the word in Hebrew for it,
C; Could you spell that for me?
A: In English I would spell it EMUNNA – but of course it’s spelled with a different alphabet. And in Sanskrit there is something similar, I don’t know the word right now, it’s faith. That deep knowledge that “Its Okay.” The apple will ripen on the tree, under the right conditions, the pupa will transform. And this is what I have to remember should I find myself in a painful place, where I cannot go back – much as I would like to in my ignorance, and fear. I know too much to go back and not enough to go forward. That’s a painful place.
C: I think that applying this way of thinking to busyness that can take us into a spin is really helpful. Because everything is part of our transformation, all these vortexes around us are part of our transformation, and our ability to handle greater and greater energy fields, and to allow God to handle greater and greater energy fields through us, and through our lives.
A: That sounds beautiful.
C: I think that would be a way to help understand a busy time as it starts arising.
A: Yes, and it looks like it’s an increasing complaint in the general world, in the collective I find myself in. And the reason I’m even talking about it or mentioning it, is because, should it happen to any one of us, we might think that I’m the only fool in town. Everybody else has got their acts together, only I am a disaster inside, under my masks. And it may not be so. It may be just part of the evolutionary process. And it’s a tough one. We cannot look at our grandparents and say, I’m going to do what my grandfather did, which was the case, say, a few generations back., because of safety, and that helped sanity. It was clear, my father and grandfathers were carpenters, that’s what I’ll be doing. Or shoemakers. There’s no question, here – we have to invent, reinvent, we don’t know.
C: And so we have to be in touch with our intuition, we have to understand who we are a little bit, or at least be able to follow our inner guidance so we have clues as to what to do, because it is all new in the moment, isn’t it? We are involved, on another level, not just personal, in a time of transformation – socially, politically, in every way.
A: I think we are finding ourselves … the demand on us is to upgrade in a new world. And we are not ready. We don’t have the background, typically. That’s were we suffer. So what I’m addressing right now is that transformation is an ordeal, and what I want to suggest is perhaps it’s okay. Yes ordeal, and it’s okay. Doesn’t mean that I have to commit suicide, doesn’t mean that I have to rush to antidepressant drugs because there is a cost to it that I maybe do not want to pay, in terms of giving up my sensitivity. I’m sure it‘s right for some people under some conditions, but as an obvious solution, that could be wrong. So just to think that yes it’s tough, and it’s part of the territory, and it’s okay.
C: Right. And that you can learn to navigate and find your way. And if you have a retreat or a meditation space, a place that you’ve created for that particular attunement, it does help you. Over time going to the same place helps with the resonance of that place, doesn’t it?
A: Yes.
C: And I think many of us have personal spaces in our homes that we use for meditation purposes or just for quiet contemplation. It’s an important part of life. Or a personal altar, whatever it is, a place in your garden maybe.
A: The Buddhists call it a refuge, so to have a refuge is crucial. ….I have a refuge, it’s almost like I have secret, I’m not totally at the whims of…
C: So you can be a strong human being, no matter what the elements are doing around you.
A: I know that I have a place to retreat to. I have a place where I can be invulnerable. That is a good first step. Another step is to find like-minded colleagues, tribespeople, that’s how I define “tribe”. … to remember that I’m not the only lost fool, because I think there is some tendency to think that I’m a total mess-up. So retreat, and friends, so there are others like me. So that I’m not the only crazy person, hopeless, like my mother always suggested - or whatever, or my teacher or somebody… So we find ourselves in difficult places, it’s not necessarily a disaster. It may be okay. To even consider that okayness is possible in the midst of a painful place, that’s the beginning. That’s the beginning of the light. In the darkness.
C: That’s like in the Buddhist images, in iconography there is always a Buddha in absolutely every realm. When you see the Tibetan Wheel of Life, and all the realms are outlined, there is a Buddha in each one of them. So it’s always there.
A: Even in the darkest dark. So there must be a seed of light even in the darkest dark. So to bring it to my table: should I find myself in a dark place psychologically I can remember and trust that it’s okay, there is okayness in there somewhere, just to allow for okayness in the midst of the darkness – that’s the beginning of that light. To remember. So if I was speaking to a friend I would say, “Consider that okayness, a tiny bit of okayness in the midst of the darkness.” And if they get it, on some resonance level even if it doesn’t feel like it, that’s the beginning of the light. Which – even a little bit is enough.
C: Well I think that’s great, and as the season changes and we go into more darkness, it’s really good to think about that light that’s in there, and we know that as the seasons change, it’s all okay. It does make a transformation. It’s a cycle that we recognize, so we can harmonize with that and recognize that we’re involved in a natural process.
A: To stick to, anchor in that okayness, even if it doesn’t feel like that. That’s faith, and I think it’s valuable.
See the video of this conversation.
Master Seedman, Forest Shomer
For over 30 years, experienced seedman Forest Shomer has founded three seed concerns, including Abundant Life Seed Foundation as well as his current company, Inside Passage, dedicated to the native and naturalized flora of the coastal Cascadian Bioregion. He talks with Carol Sill about his history, and the role of native species in restoring damaged landscapes, and in horticulture.
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About Judy Evaski
Judy Evaski studied psychology at the University Of Toronto and became Registered as a Clinical Child Psychologist in Alberta in 1981. She has worked equally in education, social services and mental health, is a Playtherapist and has designed and delivered treatment programs in rural, urban and reserve settings.
Along with learning to appreciate other people’s minds, she has been a student of her own, through the help of teachers from the traditions of North American Sufism, Tibetan Buddhism and the Red Road.
She offers Thanksgiving to all her teachers and her “dharma buddies” along the way who have shared with her the humility of the Slug and the grandeur of the tallest Fir.
Nya:weh.
Video Conversations with Judy:
Transcript of Open Pathways: Varied Paths to the One Center
Transcript of Medicine Wheel Path: Medicine Wheel
Medicine Wheel Path
” ..when you’re in the center of the circle, which is the place of creator in that system, you are the human being that’s at the cross-point between the life and death earth-walk and spiritual beings that can come through our experience of this earth walk; there is a point of integration of those two, and we can embody that.” Judy Evaski continues her conversation with Carol Sill, discussing the Medicine Wheel and its meanings.
Read the transcript of this conversation.
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Open Pathways
“And so we in Edmonton, Alberta, did a ritual by a sacred spring that we were lucky enough to find. And that was all simultaneously done. There were people, I know, as far south as Patagonia in South America. There were people in England and Europe as well as North America simultaneously doing ceremonies, lighting sacred fires.” Judy Evaski talks with Carol Sill about the paths she has explored through her spiritual journey, through Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism and the Native traditions.
Read a transcript of this video here.
On Soul and the Inner Family
“In my experience of myself as the soul I feel that my main purpose in the world is to create, and that’s where I get the most joy. That’s the feedback that comes to me from those higher levels. So it has nothing to do with being able to control other people or have power or money or influence or any of that, it’s just the sheer joy of creation.” Lee van Patten discusses the process of spiritual maturing, with emphasis on understanding the Soul, as well as explaining the concept of the Inner Family.
See the transcript of this video conversation.
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The Creative Spark
Expressive Arts facilitator and educator Barbara Karmazyn talks with Carol about her work and inspiration.
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Rosen Method: Opening the Spirit Within
Rosen practitioner and trainer, Mariette Berinstein, talks with Carol Sill about the process that occurs during Rosen bodywork, an opening of the spirit.”Opening the heart and freeing the soul.” “To really dare to meet someone in their wholeness.”
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About Paula Jardine
Paula Jardine is one of Canada’s foremost community artists. Through a career spanning four decades, she has worked with the concept of “Public Dreams.” Jardine creates images and events that integrate artists, performers and the public with ritual, celebration and activism. Her approach fosters relationships between individual and community, between conscious and unconscious elements in contemporary culture, and between ephemeral communications and enduring archetypes.
Jardine explores the ways in which human culture emerges from and gives back to natural systems. Choreographing gigantic spectacles of image, science, archetype and interaction, her work creates new spaces and possibilities for art. Crafting myth and sacred space for irreligious and culturally diverse publics, she shows how art can build community identity and create capacities for community action.
She has been creating and animating community events, spectacles and celebrations for over 20 years.
Paula is one of the founders of Vancouver’s Public Dreams Society. With her colleagues at Public Dreams she introduced community based celebration theatre events to Vancouver audience, including Illuminares which has spawned countless lantern festivals across the province. Paula’s work has focused on integrating performers and the public with ritual, celebration and activism. Engaging diverse communities in equally diverse contexts, she has been a leader in demonstrating how art can build community identity and capacities for community action.
As the founding artistic director of the Public Dreams Society, Ms. Jardine’s most visible achievement is the introduction of Lantern Processions as a community art form in Canada. She is best known for her initiation of the Illuminares Evening Lantern Procession, and the Parade of the Lost Souls, both popular annual events held in East Vancouver, involving hundreds of volunteers and artists, and attended by thousands.
Island Institute: more about Paula Jardine
Video conversation with Paula:
The Night for All Souls: Honoring the Dead
We consider ourselves hosts, and that our job is to create a sanctuary, and we call it “A sanctuary of beauty for tender feelings,” that’s how we think of it. This past week, we’ve just completed the fourth year of this event, our mantra was, “Beauty is the bottom line.”
Paula Jardine talks with Carol Sill on Honoring the Dead
C: I’m talking today with Paula Jardine, at the Mountainview Cemetery in Vancouver, BC Canada and Paula is the Artist in Residence here.
P: That’s right. We’re in the Celebration Hall at Mountainview Cemetery. Mountainvew is a city-run facility, and I’m a city employee, which is pretty radical. We began this project and I worked very closely with a woman named Marina Szijarto, an artist who is responsible for the visual elements of the event that we do here, which is called The Night for All Souls.
It developed as an opportunity for people to remember their dead, people who in particular we were thinking of people who don’t have a strong religious or cultural tradition to carry them through mourning and grief. So that was the impetus behind the project. I approached the manager. I was looking for a venue for a show of artist-made caskets and shrouds, and at the time they didn’t have a venue: this building didn’t exist. But he was interested in the work that I was doing and we talked for about two hours, and at the end of that two hours we decided that we would go ahead and do an event a week before Halloween honoring the dead. We chose those dates for two reasons. One is that universally – not universally, but in many cultures, this time of year is dedicated to remembering the dead and cleaning graves and bringing family together. And also, around Halloween is when cemeteries are under the most pressure. We felt that by having a strong sacred presence in the cemetery it would protect the cemetery a little bit from hooligans.
C: So as an artist, how do you evoke the sacred in this work?
P: Well, we begin with light. The act of lighting a light in the darkness is a very human impulse, and speaks to the core in all of us. So we began there. And then, I guess, by the way we do things and by being mindful in every aspect of what we do while we’re setting up the evening to invite the public. We consider ourselves hosts, and that our job is to create a sanctuary, and we call it “A sanctuary of beauty for tender feelings,” that’s how we think of it. This past week, we’ve just completed the fourth year of this event, our mantra was, “Beauty is the bottom line.”
And this year, because we have this beautiful building that we can host people in, we’ve extended the event to last for the whole week. I have always kept the candles lit for the whole week but now we feel that we can truly invite the public to come and maintain this sacred space for the entire week.
C: When I was at the event on Saturday I noticed that there were a lot of children.
P: Isn’t that wonderful? I just think that… Well, this is a very traditional thing to do, what we’re doing here. And it seems to be something that our predecessors forgot to bring with them. That’s how I feel anyway. My background ancestrally is Polish-Romanian-Ukrainian, Eastern Europe. And this is very traditional in that, but it’s never been part of my life. But I’ve always felt the desire to have this. And especially for the children, it’s an opportunity for parents to talk to children about death during a time when there is, perhaps, less trauma. It’s not at a funeral, or somebody in the family hasn’t just died.
So we’re here in this gentle atmosphere, and it also instills in the children the importance of remembering who you are because of where you came from. Who has made you who you are. Remember your grandpa, your great-grandpa, your great-great-grandmothers. And the ancestors are with us all the time because of who we are and our memories and stories, and for so many reasons. But to have a time, especially if you don’t have a family tradition in having a time to remember the dead is really valuable. And it just makes me so happy that we have succeeded in creating an atmosphere and a place where people feel comfortable and even inspired to bring their children.
C: There were so many candles. And music. Can you tell me more about that music and how it comes about?
P: The music is very important to me. When I speak to the musicians I’m very clear with them: this is not a performance. We’re inviting you to come and the sound creates the space, as much as the light and the physical objects. The sound creates a cushion, in a way, and also uplifts us, with the playing. And I believe that we’re playing for the dead as well as for the living. I think that – well, this is something that my mother’s instilled in me, that the dead like us to be in the cemetery, or wherever they are buried or laid to rest, because they like to be reminded that life goes on.
C: And when you had the tea gathering here, in this hall, when it was filled with people, and children, and beautiful cups of tea – all different kinds of cups, all different kinds of teapots, and the projection of water – there was a wonderful feeling of life, a strong affirmation of life.
P: Yes. And I think it’s important for us to be together in a social situation, we hold and take care of each other by being together. And the tea… Brian Mulvahill and Ian Willie were serving tea that night, and they’re two artists who have devoted their lives to tea. And especially for Ian Willie it was important. His grandmother was buried here anonymously. She died on the Downtown East Side, and for him serving tea in her honor was a way to honor her and serving tea to all of these people and all of us being here…. I’m getting all of those “shivers of truth” up and down my legs right now… Yes, it’s a lot of deep deep feeling and conscientious action on the part of all of the artists who work on the project.
C: Thank you.
View the video of this conversation.
About Peter Fenner
Peter Fenner, Ph.D. is the founder and developer of the Radiant Mind course in nondual awareness. He is an Australian currently living in France, who travels the world teaching the Radiant Mind program, a synthesis of Asian nondual approaches. He studied as a monk for nine years with many notable Buddhist lamas, including Thubten Yeshe and Sogyal Rinpoche. He is founder of the Center for Timeless Wisdom, and author of numerous books, including Reasoning into Reality and The Edge of Certainty.
His most recent book is Radiant Mind, Awakening Unconditioned Awareness, is described as follows:
Whether it is called enlightenment, pure awareness, or the “unconditioned mind,” there exists an awakened state of pure liberation that is at the heart of every contemplative tradition. Yet, according to Peter Fenner, this experience of boundless consciousness does not have to exist separately from our day-to-day, “conditioned” existence. Rather, we can learn to exist as unique individuals at the same time as we rest in a unified expanse of oneness with all existence–in a state he calls “Radiant Mind.”
In Radiant Mind, Peter Fenner shares the insights, techniques, and exercises he has developed in teaching the thousands of students who have attended his sold-out workshops, including:
- How to observe and dissolve fixations, to live in the here and now without being controlled by our desires
- Listening and speaking in a way that moves us toward pure openness–and lets us share this experience with others
- Tools for identifying our conscious and unconscious sources of suffering–and learning to transcend those patterns
“As extraordinary as unconditioned mind may sound,” teaches Peter Fenner, “it isn’t distant from our everyday life; it’s always readily available to us.” Now, this respected authority on both Eastern spirituality and Western psychology introduces readers to a set of practices available to anyone open to the complete possibilities of their spiritual evolution–and to the experience of the unconstrained bliss of Radiant Mind.
A master of nondual spirituality teaches practices for integrating the liberated state of unconditioned awareness into your everyday life.
Video conversations with Peter Fenner:
Peter Fenner: Non-Dual Awareness
Continuation of the conversation with Peter Fenner.
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Peter Fenner on Radiant Mind
Peter Fenner discussed his Radiant Mind approach with Carol Sill while in Vancouver recently.
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Alchemy TV #2
About Elke Babicki
Elke Babicki is a former clinical therapist with a Masters degree from the University of Toronto. She has led workshops in Europe and Canada and has helped thousands to claim more power in their lives.
Elke is an intuitive who has had numerous clairvoyant dreams and experiences that inspired the writing of her current book. With the foundation as a clinically trained psychotherapist, Elke has learned the value of multi-sensory ways of receiving information, intuition and synchronicity. Her personal stories offer clear and compelling evidence for the power of perceiving reality in this extended way.
Originally from a small historic town called Straubing, in Bavaria and growing up in Europe, she had explored many European countries & at the age of seventeen, spent six weeks in Israel. She explored New York, Toronto & Montreal. In Greece, on the next vacation, she decided to take a leap & come back to Canada.
Elke always felt most at home using her intuition. In May 2004, for a period of about one year, she had numerous dreams out of the ordinary. She could not explain them logically but they were very clear messages. She turned her experience into a manuscript – Making the Connections - Live The Life You Really Want. She recorded the dreams & others also witnessed them, so she could see the predictive nature of many of them. She discovered she had in fact followed her clairvoyant great grandmother’s footsteps. Her book serves as a documentary of a journey to a much more rewarding universe.
Her book is an accessible, powerful step-by-step guide to breaking out of old patterns and claiming your intuition and sensitivity. You will learn to tap into the underlying network that connects all things and to trust and listen to your own intuition.
“I help people to live with the same richness and passion I have discovered. I have come to see that this is not only a gift for ourselves as individuals, it is our best hope for the future of humanity.” – Elke Babicki
More on Elke and her book: www.elkebabicki.com
Video conversations with Elke:
ACCESS
Elke Babicki shares the acronym she uses as a reminder to remain the new paradigm.
More on Elke here.
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Dream Guidance
Elke Babicki talks with Carol about the first dream guidance that awakened her to ultimately find expression for the new paradigm through her book, Making the Connections: Living the Life You Really Want.
Painting by permission of the artist, Kristeen Verge.
More on Elke here.
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Agrippa’s Magic
Here’s another rather difficult quiz. I loved the idea in Agrippa of relating the power of the stars to … oh, I won’t spoil it for you. Try the quiz yourself, and maybe you might be intrigued to look into Agrippa and his Renaissance cohorts. These guys were really into something quite amazing!
What do you think? Should I make these quizzes easier?
About Forest Shomer
Forest Shomer is the owner of Inside Passage Seeds in Port Townsend, Washington.
Founder and director of Abundant Life Seed Foundation until 1992, he has grown and collected seed from over 400 kinds of plants and traded seeds internationally for two decades.
Since 1973 he has been completely devoted to producing, distributing, and educating about the seeds of native and adapted Pacific Northwest plant species.
Since 1996 he serves as coordinator of Ziraat (nature symbology) activity for the Sufi Ruhaniat International, teaching in North America, South America, and Europe.
Video conversations with Forest