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Intention and the Unexpected

Matthew Spears talks with Carol about the need for space for the unexpected along with your intention.

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On Authenticity

“To describe this in words, that’s the realm of poetry and art. It’s a resonance, we know when we are authentic. So certainly that might be the aim, even if I should fail. The aim must be that I be authentic, in this moment only. Always. This moment only.”

Andrew Jordan in discussion with Carol Sill

A: If what we’re talking about is “Authenticity” … authenticity is something that when it happens we just know. We know. We can’t fake that. Our dog would know. Our lover would certainly know. Our children definitely know when we are authentic. And that one thing is true in every moment, no matter what. So in that sense, it could be said that it’s a constant.

C: I’m thinking it might not be a constant, because, yes you can be authentic, but to be continually as a human being in the flow, always 24/7 with that right time, right place, right circumstance, right series of electromagnetic whatevers, always on. Is that possible for us as human beings? Or can we just rise and fall and be authentic in our feelings and our approaches? You know, there’s the two kinds of authentic, if you know what I mean?

A: I do. Well its too much to ask for a human being to be always authentic. We look at these Olympic gymnasts, the Olympics are happening right now and we look at the top gymnasts and they are almost perfect, but to ask perfection is a bit too much. But I think it’s not too much, or the least I can ask of myself is to be authentic in this one moment. Just this one moment, that’s all. That is the minimum I can ask of myself, and of you, is to be authentic, to have a conversation. Otherwise, why bother? Just this one moment.

C: But what is authentic, what do you mean by “authentic”?

A: To describe this in words, that’s the realm of poetry and art. It’s a resonance, we know when we are authentic. So certainly that might be the aim, even if I should fail. The aim must be that I be authentic, in this moment only. Always. This moment only. If only I’m responsible for this one moment, I cannot promise or commit to being authentic all my life. But I must say yes I am absolutely committed to being authentic this moment. What else?

C: Okay. What about that thought: “I’m going to be authentic in this moment.”? Is that a veil between authenticity or is that a helper, or training wheels so that authenticity occurs spontaneously?

A: That’s a direction. That’s a commitment, that’s a direction, in the language of Kaballa it’s kavanah, It’s a direction, physically a vector. ..If I sit down to write an exam, I aim for 100%. 50%’s a pass, 80% an A, whatever. But I know what my intention is: to do the absolute best. That might be the intention. So all I’m saying is that I must be committed to that authenticity, and that’s an intention. That’s choosing a direction. What direction am I choosing? That means being awake, and often of course I’m not awake. But I’m clearly a committed student of aiming towards authenticity in the moment.

C: Right. Yeah. Okay!

A: Now somebody might listen to this and say this is nonsense. To me this is not nonsense. I think it’s valuable. It’s almost like adjusting the rudder of the boat, where are you going, where am I going? It only works out if the direction is towards authenticity, committed to authenticity. I may fail, but that’s another story, that’s irrelevant to the discussion….

C: How do you tell when it’s on? Or, how do you tell when it’s off? What’s your sense?

A: Maybe this is when the teaching of Jesus becomes relevant. When, I just mentioned in a previous discussion, “I am the way.” I have to know, and I have to be okay with it. And when somebody with force comes down and tells me otherwise, I don’t…. I am the way, I have to know. That’s a very personal thing. It’s between me and God. And that should be good enough.

C: Right.

A: And whether you, the other, know or not that’s another story. If you get it we can probably be friends. If you don’t – well that’s a different relationship. So it’s a resonance. I have to be anchored in my own truth, and I have to know. Now, can you say that publicly to everybody, I don’t know, maybe politically it’s not acceptable to propagate such freedom for individuals…..I don’t know. For me, it’s being anchored in my own… I have to know. And if I know that’s good enough.
And then of course I’m always searching for tribesmen, and I would define tribe where people resonate similarly. We can meet in that place, that place when it happens.

C: It is.

A: So I’m not claiming that I’m better than the other guy, I’m just saying that’s my focus. You know why? Because I can’t think of anything better. If I could, I would. Being authentic is the best for me. I’d be happy to exchange it for something better. If there was one. I haven’t found one yet. It’s not about morality, even.

C: No.

A: … healthier and happier and more fulfilling life. That’s my personal belief at this time, until I change it.

C: That’s great. Thanks Andrew.

View the video of this conversation.

Authenticity

Andrew Jordan and Carol Sill in conversation.

“To describe this in words, that’s the realm of poetry and art. It’s a resonance, we know when we are authentic. So certainly that might be the aim, even if I should fail. The aim must be that I be authentic, in this moment only. Always. This moment only.”

Link here to read the text version of this conversation.

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